grandma shit on top of the toilet
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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