Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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