he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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