whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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