apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
