I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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