I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
