It's like a parade of train wrecks.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
