Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I don't deserve a penis
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
