you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
