the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
