it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
