She is in my trunk
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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