Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
