This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
