My room smells like vodka and shame
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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