Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Randomize
