She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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