Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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