I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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