i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
