Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
