Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
