If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
