they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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