her vagine was all disorganized.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so let's talk penis.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
