Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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