She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
