You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
