My hair reeks of homosexuality.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Shame is for Republicans.
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