I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Randomize
