Is it normal to miss your booty call?
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
