You can't motorboat a personality
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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