Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
