is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
