Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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