Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
operation have a gay friend backfired
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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