I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
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