Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
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