he puts the penis in happiness.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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