ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize