omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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