Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
