I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
