His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
