I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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