I can't breathe out the right side of my face
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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