i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
