So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
