i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
