I got her a Nickelback box set.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
